When Desire Feels Conditional: Body Image & Hookup Culture

Photo by sparky.svg

We all know this:

Gay hookup culture magnifies every body insecurity you’ve ever had.

You log on.
You scroll.
You get passed over.

And suddenly you’re spiraling — wondering if your belly, your chest hair, your softness, your skin, your shape is the reason you’re not getting attention.

It’s like you become a vending machine of body parts — ranked, judged, categorized, and often dismissed.

I’ve been there.

• I’ve felt the sting of being told “You’re cute but not my type.”

• I’ve felt the silence after sending a pic (especially after it gets opened with no response).

• I’ve felt my heart sink when I finally met up with a guy and could tell he was disappointed.

And for years, I made those moments mean something about me.

That I wasn’t hot enough.
That I wasn’t good enough.
That I had to earn sex through aesthetics.

But here’s what I know now — and what I want you to hold onto:

Your worth is not up for negotiation. Even in the sexiest, sluttiest, horniest corners of the internet.

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🚨 Hookup Culture Isn’t Inherently Bad — But It Is Body-Biased

We’ve created a culture that celebrates confidence — but only if it comes with the right abs.