The Crave of Intimacy

There’s this quiet ache I’ve felt most of my life.

It doesn’t scream. It hums. Right below the surface — in my chest, in my belly, in my bones.

It’s not about sex. It’s not about wanting someone’s body or another hookup or the next hit of validation.

It’s about wanting to be close. To be seen. To be held — not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually.

To feel safe with someone. Safe to exhale.
Safe to not have to be charming or sexy or “on.”
Safe to be messy, soft, and human.

And if I’m honest, for a long time, I didn’t know how to admit that’s what I wanted.

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It Was Easier to Hook Up Than to Be Honest

Hooking up? That was easy — if I wanted it.

I could be sexy. I could be wanted. I could play the role.

It was so much harder to say,

“I don’t just want your hands. I want your attention.”
“I don’t want to just be desired — I want to be known.”

That felt terrifying. Like giving someone a match and showing them where the gasoline lives.

So I’d fuck instead of feel. Flirt instead of ask. Keep it casual instead of letting it get close.

And then I’d go home with my skin buzzing but my heart still starving.

And sometimes I still do this.

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This Craving Isn’t Weak. It’s Sacred.

Wanting intimacy doesn’t make you desperate. It makes you human.

But I get why so many of us think it does.

We didn’t grow up learning how to be safely seen. We grew up learning how to protect ourselves. To perform. To stay one step ahead of rejection.

And now? We’re out here building lives, businesses, friendships — but still carrying this ache for connection we don’t know how to name.

But the craving isn’t wrong. It’s honest. It’s holy.

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So What Are You Really Craving?

If you slow down — if you really listen to your body — maybe you’re not actually craving the next orgasm, or the next DM, or the next round of validation.

Maybe you’re craving…

• To fall asleep with someone’s hand on your chest

• To be held after sex, not just fucked

• To be kissed like you matter

• To talk about what hurts and have someone stay

• To say, “I miss you,” without playing it cool

And none of that makes you weak. It makes you real.

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Let Yourself Want What You Want

This is your permission slip:

You’re allowed to crave softness.
You’re allowed to want safety.
You’re allowed to need to be held.

You don’t have to earn intimacy.
You don’t have to perform for it.
You don’t have to shrink your needs to be loveable.

You get to want more than sex.
And you get to stop pretending you don’t.

Because you were made for connection — not just contact.
And your heart deserves to be met, not just managed.

With you, in this craving,
Coach Kevin

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💬 Have you been feeling this crave too? Hit reply or leave a comment — no shame here.

🫶🏽 Want to start building more intimacy — with yourself, your partners, your people? Let’s talk.